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A Timeline of Half A Million Words 2

A Timeline of Half A Million Words

  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: October 4, 2020, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    The kongnamool is used is part of a meal involving multiple side dishes, some rice, and some pork belly, but it’s good on it’s own. 1 pound soybean sprouts2 tablespoons soy sauce1/8th cup sesame oil2 tablespoons Korean red pepper powder2 teaspoons garlic, minced2 teaspoons sesame seeds2 teaspoons rice wine vinegar (or apple cider vinegar, if I don’t have rice vinegar) Put a pot of water large enough to take the entire pound of bean sprouts on to boil. While you’re waiting, take everything but the sprouts, and mix them up in a glass or plastic bowl and set it aside. Once the water is to a full boil, drop the bean sprouts in for 30 seconds. Take them out, drain them, and rinse them with cold water until they’re cooled down. Let it set for a bit to let it dry (just a couple minutes), then put the sprouts and the mixture in a bowl and mix them up. This is one of the side dishes for “Korean BBQ” based on a place here in town that does it. But, they’re good by themselves, or, cook an over-medium egg, and drop it on top of a handful of kongnamool for tasty breakfast. Despite the amount of red pepper involved, it’s not particularly spicy!
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    Date: July 3, 2020, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    A really nice Chinese Noodle Salad Jay gave me – give plenty of prep time, though! The Salad It’s Self: 1 Can of Pin Mushrooms1 Napa Cabbage5 or 6 rehydrated black mushrooms2 or 3 carrotsRice Vermicelli noodles The Sauce 2 tbsp of chopped garlic3 tbsp oyster sauce2 tbsp of chicken base3 tbsp white vinegar1 tsp sugar2 tbsp sesame oilChili oil with black beans (optional) Preparing the Salad The Black Mushrooms If you’ve got dehydrated black mushrooms, put them in warm water and let them rehydrate basically most of a day. Noodles: Bring water to boil, then turn it off. Drop the noodles in the water, and let them remain there for a good 15 minutes or so – doing it this way makes them less mushy. Carrots and cabbage: Bring water to boil, drop both in the water and let cook for 3 minutes, then take out. Chop up and combine all the salad stuffs, and let chill in the fridge for an hour or so. Store the salad and the dressing separate. Preparing the Sauce Add all the ingredients together, and let it sit in the fridge a bit. If you want some spice to it, add the chili oil in there.
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: July 2, 2020, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - The Recipe Book, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    A super-simple thai peanut salad dressing, can also be used as a dip. 1/2 cup peanut butter2 tablespoons fresh lime or lemon juice2 tablespoons rice vinegar2 tablespoons soy sauce 1 tablespoon honey1 teaspoon sesame oil1 clove garlic roughly chopped1 cup of water(Optional) 1/2 teaspoon of dry chicken bullion (crushed fine) Put them all together in a jar, and shake like crazy. You can serve it over a simple salad with lettuce, carrots, and tomatoes if you don’t want an authentic Chinese style salad.
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    Date: March 28, 2020, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr, The Recipe Book
    1 cup all-purpose flour 1 cup yellow cornmeal ½ cup white sugar 1 teaspoon salt 3 teaspoons baking powder 1 egg 1 cup milk 1/3 cup vegetable oil Preheat the over to 400 – put a medium cast-iron pan in while it’s preheating. Put everything into a bowl, and mix it well. Once the oven’s preheated, pull the cast iron out, and spray some oil in there to keep the cornbread from sticking. Pour in cornbread mix, and cook for 10 – 12 minutes (toothpick test it – stick it in the center, and when it comes back clean, you know the cornbread is done.)
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Movie theaters are required to have closed caption devices available for the deaf. Drive-in theaters aren’t. Important to know if you or a loved one is deaf. I have a workaround for that! There’s some reasonable logistical reasons for drive in theaters to not be required to have caption systems. Still sucks, though. Another thing is old movies don’t have support for captions either, which is where this all started. I’m in a private group for movie showings, and I inquired about captions for those older films they were showing. Of course, the answer was that they didn’t have captions. Someone spoke up and said it’s possible to set it up yourself, and posted a link to a caption database. This changes everything. Local Drive-In Theater Starlite Drive-in is a historic theater here in Wichita – the last one in town, and one of the last functioning drive-ins in Kansas. Recently, they closed down entirely, much drama ensued, and members of the local community helped it get bought by another drive-in owner in Oklahoma (otherwise, the land was going to be used for an ugly warehouse type thing), and reopened! My girlfriend and I went the the drive-in before it closed, and while it’s a cool idea, she can’t keep up: she’s deaf, and without captions, she’s only getting parts of the dialog. So, I wanted to support the local drive-in idea, but I really didn’t feel good about dragging her along to something she’s not going to enjoy asRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: January 6, 2019, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - The Recipe Book
    Our current New Years tradition is for me to fix a prime rib dinner with all the goodies. Here’s it, and aju, and potatoes, and what to do with it a couple days later. Herb Butter Prime Rib 4-ish pounds bone-in prime rib1 cup butter, softened4 – 10 cloves garlic, minced1 Tablespoon thyme, finely chopped1 Tablespoon oregano, finely chopped1 Tablespoon rosemary, finely chopped1 Tablespoon salt1 teaspoon pepper Take the prime rib out of the freezer, and let it warm for at least 30 minutes. Warm up the butter so it’s a liquid, then add everything to it minus the prime rib it’s self. Stir it all up. Place the prime rib fat side up in an appropriately sized pan (or, even larger pan if you want do some potatoes, too), and pour all the butter sauce on it. Let it sit and soak for about 30 more minutes on the counter or somewhere safe. Once the butter has rehardened, use your hands to get the butter and herb combo out of the bottom of the pan and pack it all over the surface of the prime rib, so it’s completely covered in butter, garlic, and herbs. Preheat the oven to 450. Once it’s done pre-heating, cook it for 15 minutes. Then, reduce the temperature to 325, and continue cooking. It’s about 15 minutes per pound of prime rib – use a meat thermometer to wait for the internal temperature to get up to 110 degrees (at this point, I splitRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: January 6, 2019, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - The Recipe Book
    Every family has someone who writes down recipes in a book, to be used again later. That book becomes almost sacred in some families, because it holds great-great-grandmother Mayda’s secret split-pea soup recipe. And, those recipes get handed down to the kids, etc. It’s cool. I don’t have one, but Kelly does. One day I found a recipe for something that I wanted to put in her book, and she said I should get my own (fair enough.) But, let’s face it, I’m generally more of an electronic sort of guy, particularly since I’ve already got such long standing domains. This is my attempt at my own recipe book. This includes things of my own (which I rarely write down, but are rarely the same exact dish twice), and stuff I found on the Internet. Now, I could just set aside and area for links, and call it good. There’s a couple of reason I don’t do that – I hate the format to start off with. I don’t need 6 paragraphs of backstory on the recipe before I actually get to the ingredients list, and have the cooking instructions spread out between 6 different advertisements. Plus, when those sites go under, well, the recipe is gone. This blog turns 10 this year – it’s not going under anytime soon. And, even when I do follow a recipe, I tend to start improving it – so, I can track my changes and improvements to it. So, if you start readingRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 31, 2018, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Going into 2018, I would have said this would be the year I finally get over the financial hump – I came into it in a relatively good position. The contract gig I was doing was going strong, though it was supposed to be coming to an end – the budget for it ran out, but the project wasn’t complete. That’s a bit of a problem, but how much longer would the project last? I’ve got a few possibles to chase down after I get it done. That project lasted me for all of 2018. Now, probably never mentioned it, but in 2017 I set out to repair my credit, and bring in enough lines of credit to carry my ass through hard times – I was so damned tired of times when it all went to hell, and I had no fallback. There are three months in 2018 where I made less than $200. In fact, in 2018, I’ve made a little more than $2k LESS than I did in 2017. If you asked me how the year was going mid-year, I would have said it sucked pretty bad. Ask the same question this month, and my answer would be a little different – I thought 2018 was going to get me set right, and while it was hard as hell, it actually did set me up for 2019. And, most importantly, I survived 2018. There were a lot of changes along the way – for instance, I’m veryRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 30, 2018, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    I’ll skip all the colorful story stuff and get right to the meat of this – there’s two very easy ways to bypass Tumblr’s adult content policy for some pages and discussions. This won’t work for everything, but a quick test of it showed it works fine for the web comic I was trying to read, and a few other pages. Method 1: Copy & Wayback & Paste When you run into a page with the content block, copy the URL from the URL bar. Go to the Wayback Machine ( https://web.archive.org )Paste the URL in the box that says “Enter a URL” and hit returnSelect any version of the page older than December 1st, 2018 (the content policy went into effect Dec 17th, 2018, but some pages were affected before that)Enjoy. If it’s got an archive of the page, it even includes links to the notes, etc., so you don’t have to miss out on the discussion part. Sometimes you’ll end up with broken images that weren’t archived – pick another date (before Dec 1) and you’ll probably find the images, too. Method 2: The Plugin If you’re using Chrome, Firefox, or Safari, use the Wayback Machine plugin – it’s faster than the copy / paste method. Once in installed, just click on the Wayback plugin when you run into a page that’s been affected. Select “First Version”, and BOOM! You’ve got a copy of the old page in a new tab. You can also look for other archivedRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 3, 2018, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    I posted on Facebook about it, but I’ll repeat it here as an intro – I was on the phone with someone I’ve known since before I had my own company, and he’s been a customer of mine for basically as long as his company has existed.  Bill Wiley & Associates is 15 years old.  Wow.  But, I had to do the math in my head real quick, and I realized:  Midnight Ryder Technologies turns 20 years old next year.  Holy crap.  I’ll do an “official” post on the Midnight Ryder Technologies website after the first of the year, along with a new logo for it incorporating 20 years.  But this sort of pulls together some of the personal side of it, and stuff I won’t be putting in the official one.  Well, and some of it that will end up in the official one. In The Beginning… I usually credit the end of 1999 as the beginning of Midnight Ryder Technologies, but that’s a simplification of things.  It’s always gotta be just a little convoluted, and there’s multiple dates you could use as the start date for the company.  The one I picked was… well, kind of arbitrary, to be honest. In 1999, I decided it was time to realize my dream:  I wanted to write video games.  I was already a software developer for a living, making a pretty decent wage, seeing the world, and getting paid to do cool stuff with big ass machines (I was doingRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: July 30, 2018, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Yeah, I’m 47 now.  Of course, I’m sitting behind a computer, working on a major project, and packing up my apartment.  And, of course, thinking about the last year or so.  As usual with me, it’s been an interesting ride.  So, grab a cup of tea, coffee, or other favorite beverage, and come along for a look back at the ride.  And, given the number of trips involved, there was a lot of riding.  Oh, and since I love to take pictures of everything, there’s a lot of pictures of that ride.  This is only the highlights, and there’s a whole lotta stuff that happened at 46 (er, 27 Mk 19) that I’m just not going to bother posting. A lot of this stuff is things I’ve started to write up before, but finally getting around to writing up, using my birthday as an excuse to do it.  Some of them will EVENTUALLY get their own posts that expand upon things like the campsite and hot springs in Colorado.  Update:  OK, it didn’t get done until nearly a month after my birthday.  So, there’s some minor updates in there, some labeled, some not. The Trips: California On the road to Alpine, California Next day after my Birthday last year, we hit the road bound for California.  I had been to California plenty of times for work.  Fresno, Woodland, and a few other areas, along with having flown through LA a couple of times.  I had even seen the Pacific oceanRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    So, it’s the beginning of a new year, so it’s that time of year to say that I’ll be writing more in my blog.  Seriously. 😉 . As with previous years, time will tell if I actually do it – though, I actually did write a number of things that were never published in 2017 (that I’ll publish later in 2017 – more on that later), along with the tail end of the abusive relationship stuff.  Here’s to vowing to write more. But, for now, here’s a look back at 2017, and a look forward at some new projects. The End of Selfie a Day For two years straight I’ve done #SelfieADay – a picture of me, me with cats, me with Kelly, me with friends, me with customers, etc., on a nearly every day basis (I broke 300 both years, but didn’t actually accomplish 365 postings.)  Just like the year before, I took A TON more than 365 pictures, though a lot of them are alternates, getting the right lighting, things like that.  Plus, when I finish stitching them together for my year end wrap videos, the way I did it will add quite a bit of “stop motion” style of effect to it. The biggest thing that comes with doing SelfieADay is the question: “Why?” I’ve answered a ton of variants of that question. There isn’t really an answer to that beyond “Because I can.”  There’s a lot of reasons I kept doing it, along with the idea ofRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: October 19, 2017, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    If you read only one rambling blog post with no discernible point behind it today, you might want to pick a different blog post.  But, since you’re already here, you might as well keep reading… Last week I decided it was time to refresh my Tai Chi (Taiji, Taijiquan, however you’d like to refer to it 🙂 ) knowledge, since it’s been a while.  I’ve never managed to learn a complete set of forms. So, I set out to find – and learn – one of the complete sets.  The source material I had learned years ago disappeared, so I began searching online to find it again. Quick primer for those who don’t know, and care just enough to wonder:  Tai Chi comes in various flavors.  Like, quite a few flavors.  Some of the stuff dates back to 16th century, and some of it is actually extremely modern.  Some of it is based on the ideal use in combat, some of it for exercise and flexibility, and some of it is vaguely metaphysical in nature by concentrating on the idea of chi (qi) manipulation.  There’s traditional styles, simplified traditional styles, and Americanized styles ;-).  And, then there’s a further modifier, what’s being used:  hands?  Sword?  Broadsword?  Or, heck, maybe just use a cane?  (Yes, there’s a specialized form just for use with a cane.) Each of these a forms.  Each form broke down into Movements.  Each movement has a name such as “The Heavenly Horse Gallops Across the Sky” orRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: June 8, 2017, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    When in Rome, right?  People who know me know I’m not a pot head – it’s just never been my thing.  But, since I was going to be in Colorado, I had multiple reasons why I wanted to check that whole thing out.  At the same time I’m writing this, I’ve already written an article on Advanced Mobile Healthcare‘s site that looks at effects of legalization of marijuana over in Colorado.  I’m not going to say it’s dry and boring, but it’s centered around the facts of the change.  This post, on the other hand, is centered around my observations of the environment, the process of buying product there, and well, even the product it’s self.  And, something new:  Kelly will also be contributing (I’m pretty certain I’ve never allowed someone to have input on my blog posts before.)  All her stuff is in italics so it’s a little easier to see who’s saying what 🙂 Strangers in a Strange Land I’m from Kansas.  You know what’s not legal here?  Anything with THC.  Now, funny story:  I know a lot about marijuana, THC, and cannabinoids.  For instance, bits of trivia like: THCa is the precursor to THC.  Apply enough heat, make it dry enough, or add the right acid, and THCa becomes THC.  THCa isn’t psychoactive, but THC is.  Why do I know this?  Because the very first set of articles I wrote for my friends and customer over at AMH was a 3 part series on cannabinoids, and IRead the rest of this...
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    Date: January 23, 2017, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    “I went back to the doctor To get another shrink I sit and tell him ’bout my weekend But he never betrays what he thinks “Can you see the real me, doctor? Doctor? Can you see the real me, doctor? Woah, doctor” — The Who, The Real Me Two things occurred to me on this very odd day, from various conversations:  1)  Getting stronger and healing only means there’s an even greater challenge to those attributes ahead, and 2)  I’ve always considered reinventing yourself a process of building something new, but in reality, I’m feeling it’s actually matter of stripping away the things people have handed you over the years, and finding the real you. This was one of those weird days, where weird things just had to happen (including things just sort of spontaneously breaking around me.  Seriously, I shouldn’t have been allowed to be around anything breakable.)  Today ended up holding some challenges against my anxiety issues, and all but one of them I managed to pass without hesitation or panic.  OK, so one fail in the middle of everything else?  I’ll take that as a win, particularly since some of the things those situations were up against are starting to get old enough to be called ancient.  (Not all stories, nor all abuses ended up on my blog.  Some things were told in secret to a very select few people.) I was telling someone about it (because I couldn’t tell the whole story on here), that’s whenRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: January 21, 2017, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Becoming more active in the community, and the world as a whole, has been a goal of mine for a while.  I’ve not been as good at it as I should be.  Facebook activism doesn’t count, and even that is sometime I carefully dole out (someday I’ll bother writing a blog post on the company site that explains why).  Now, I have been to a protest before.  Well, my running joke about it is that it was less of a “protest”, and more of a “loiter”.  I stood out on the corner of a Bank of America for nearly 30 minutes wondering where the rest of the protesters were – come to find out, part of them didn’t show, and since it was a cold day, a number of them didn’t bother getting out of their car. For the Women’s March in Wichita, which is part of a larger series of marches going on throughout the US, totally different story.  I’m sure some people are going to view part of what I say as negative – it’s not intended that way, it’s just the observations of a first timer.  And, there’s a second part to the post, which covers a bit of anxiety issues. Women’s March in Wichita My first inclination of how large the march really was. Trump becoming President of the United States has caused some serious unease in quite a few segments of America.  I won’t bother explaining why – that’s better documented by other people in many,Read the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: January 21, 2017, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    OK, this one is a little less diatribe, and more point of view.  I’ve thrown shade at marriage as a goal.  I’ve talked about the idea of relationships that are a lot less “spend all your time with me”.  I’ve talked about relationships where it’s just about existing together, not necessarily trying to achieve something.  I’ve talked about not forcing myself to be “useful” to a relationship, and just focus on being me (which is still helpful and competent, just I don’t have to worry about that as a supporting concept for a relationship.)  And, well, a number of other things along the way.  These are changes to my choices in how an “idea” relationship would go – though, keep in mind, relationships are a contract of sorts, and through communication you find the points in which two people try and find the “sweet spot” for them to exist together (and, sometimes that changes.)  Even marriage isn’t completely off the table – I’m just a lot less concerned with the idea, and more concerned with the idea of building a relationship where me and whoever exist in a state where we don’t stress each other with the goals that society puts forth. Now a little bit about the things I don’t want to change about how I deal with relationships… Priority Someone I’m in a relationship will still remain one of my first priorities.  They call me when I’m doing something, and they need help?  I’m there.  If there’s twoRead the rest of this...
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    Date: January 19, 2017, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Cleo isn’t my cat – I don’t have a cat.  My roommates have a cat.  However, the cat has adopted me, loves the heck outta me, and spends a lot of time curled up on me, or hanging out in my office space.  Here’s the thing: after a conversation with a friend, I got to thinking about the nature of why the cat hangs out with me. and realized there’s some aspects of that which represent what I’d want out of a relationship.  And, no, I’m not saying I want a relationship with a cat – I’ve already had a Kat in my life, and that didn’t turn out so well. 😉 I don’t feed the cat.  Not part of my gig, and since she’s got problems with seizures if she eats certain foods (and I have no idea what they are), she doesn’t even get to lick my plate when I’m done.  That completely takes the motivation of food off the list.  Same goes for changing the litter box, providing toys to play with, and all that good stuff.  Basically, I have no real connection to the cat, beyond affection. I’ve spent a lot of my life worrying about being useful when in a relationship.  Somehow, I feel that proves my value.  By nature, I’m a fairly competent person.  I can cook, clean, do laundry, fix a car, cut down trees, write professionally, develop software, sew (somewhat – I need practice), do plumbing and construction, and… well, you get theRead the rest of this...
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    Date: January 18, 2017, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Every once in a while, during a conversation, I’ll end up blurting out this long diatribe on something or other without knowing I even started a diatribe: it’s just a surprise what coming out of my mouth.  Sometimes it’s only even tangent to what’s being talked about – but, it was enough of a trigger to cause a long verbal expulsion, even if it’s not a complete set of thoughts. I did that the other day at lunch with other folks – something was said about marriage or something, and off I went for a good 5 minutes.  I’m not actually sure if anyone even heard me – I mean, John was nodding, but there a chance that was “Oh, crap, he’s doing that thing again.”  (He’s married to Brent, who often also does something similar.  So, John just may be immune to it entirely. 😉 )  Then, ended up having a very similar discussion a couple of days later with my friend Leah when we had lunch, as we discussed various approaches to relationships. Now that my thoughts are more collected up, lemmie put it down on paper (well, blog) in a more coherent fashion. I don’t have a problem with marriage as a concept.  Heck, I must like it at least some: I did it twice.  Let’s sarcastically call that phase of life a “failed experiment” of sorts. Early on in life, I wanted nothing to do with marriage.  There’s a number of reasons why (that I’m not goingRead the rest of this...
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    Date: January 12, 2017, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    The God / The Universe / Deity of Choice / Random Circumstances struck oddly, so I thought I’d post and talk about this for a moment.  See, I was getting ready to write this week’s article for Advanced Mobile Healthcare, and I look at the list of topics we came up with last year (I still haven’t gotten through all of them, yet), and the top one that I kept avoid that should be easy is “Anxiety”.  Additionally, I wanted to write a post (probably entitled “A Moment of Beauty”) that was going to require I explain some things before I do. Yes, I’ve written a lot about emotional abuse.  There’s a whole section of things in my life that I didn’t write about on here, and I’m not going to.  It’s a set of secrets that, at the moment, only four people know about. When I have the chance, five will know.  Beyond that, well, some things just don’t need to be shared out. Wrapped into that whole thing is a further story, too – this one, I’ll share.  I’ve talked a little bit about the effects of abuse, and well… I understated it a bit.  OK, more than a bit.  A lot. While writing about Anxiety Disorders, I ran across this little factoid:  50% of those with ADHD end up with an Anxiety Disorder at some point.  Half.  Holy shit.  7% of adults may have ADHD (there’s under reporting issues, and over diagnosis issues).  That’s a fuckton of people withRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 19, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction So, how does one go to war with one’s self, and one’s past, and the things done to them?  Damned good question, and I had to find – or, I suppose, create – an answer that fit me. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is the final part, part 12), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits. The Admissions I knew there was a problem, and well… I don’t know what triggered the “I know what it is” moment.  Something clicked, something fell into place.  Just, something happened.  I think it’s that the Universe / God / Random Chance / Your Diety Of Choice decided to lay it all out in the right order for me to see it.  That week where various things happened to push my buttons.  The post on Gaslighting.  Someone attempting to tear me down.  All of it laid out just right.  It basically hitRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 18, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction It’s not that everything changed overnight for me.  The things that happened, they didn’t all happen in one day, and the effects were slow and gradual, until suddenly they weren’t. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 10), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits.   It’s Not That Bad Here’s the first thing I want to get out of the way:  there are two phrases that go with any sort of abuse.  The first one is “It’s not that bad, other people have had it worse.”  The second one is “It didn’t really happen.” There are plenty of variants of either of those phrases such as “It’s all in my head”.  Or, there’s the ones that other people tell you, such as “You’re just being sensitive” or “Oh, seriously, get over it.” If you’re going through something like this, and you stumbled across this page, you’ll wantRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 17, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction In some ways, these topics are already covered as part of the larger story arc – but, let’s stop and take a closer look at the for a moment. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 10), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits. Just Tacking More On Sometimes, it’s the big things that do you in, sometimes it’s the little things.  In my case, the big things became an amplifier for all the little things that happened, and continued to be so for years to afterwards (I think the next post will finally begin the “wind down” of this, where I’ll explain that statement further.)  See, all that stuff – the yelling, screaming, bending my brain, etc. meant that everything else just piled on with the rest, pushing me further and further.  Sure, as I’ll explain later, it all got stuffed in a compartment of my mindRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 17, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction Imagine if someone else could be able to affect your perception of reality, and your memories?  That would be pretty weird, wouldn’t it?  It happens. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 9), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits. Warping Your Reality:  Gaslighting I’m a writer and a game developer.  Oddly, that gives me a lot of experience with dealing with personal perceptions of reality.  Now, I’m not a much sought after writer (I should work on that someday), but I’ve got multiple fiction books laying around either completed, or in various states of completion that I’ve yet to bother publishing (which might explain the problem with not being a sought after writer). Both writers and game developers create realities from scratch, or create tangential realities to the one everyone shares.  People open up a book, or start a game, and they leave their own reality andRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 16, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction It’s weird:  the yelling, screaming, lies, manipulations, all of that stuff – it’s not something the person who did them take responsibility for.  Instead, it’s because you made them do it. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 8), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits. It’s All Your Fault OK, here are levels of accountability where the statement “It’s all your fault.”  There are times it’s your fault.  Let’s say the kitchen smells because you let the garbage pile up for three weeks?  Yep, the fact that it smells is your fault.  It was directly your actions – or in this case, inactions – in the physical realm that caused the kitchen to smell.  You can go ahead and own up to it, it’s all yours.  Growing up, most of us are taught to take ownership of our failures.  It’s not a bad thing at all.  WeRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 15, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction We fall in love with our partner because of so many things.  Their attitude, their caring, their integrity, the way they make us feel. The list is too long to put here.  But, what about those things we’re not a fan of?  Or that our partner isn’t a fan of in us? If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 7), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits. Why Can’t You Just Be Who I Want You To Be? I think it goes without saying we should probably just accept people how they are, and call it good.  I mean, really, we show up, come into someone’s life, and expect them to change.  Well, I say “we” as to mean “some of you”. Now, there are some things that are pretty much a given.  For instance:  if you give your word to do something, your partner expects you to keepRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 15, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction I mention in the introduction section of pretty much every post that he and she is replaceable in these posts.  There’s a part of abuse that I haven’t experienced, and it’s unlikely I would experience:  physical abuse, and the fear of being injured, or worse.  It’s also the part where “he” and “she” aren’t quite as interchangeable. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 4), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits.  Except in this post. The Physical Dangers of Abuse Throughout these posts, there’s something missing from me:  fear of a physical altercation.  I’ve been in fights before, and going toe to toe with me isn’t a good option.  And because of that knowledge, I really have no fear of it. I’m putting this right after the section on yelling and screaming for a reason: sometimes, it’s a precursor.  There’s a concept called escalation: first the person yellsRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 14, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction I am a communication person.  I wasn’t always that way, but I’ve always been a talker.  These days, I’m good with a sit-down conversation in a relationship to see where each one is at.  To talk about things of substance, and even talk about feelings, rather than just “stuff”.  That’s communication.  Screaming, on the other hand, is not a language of communication, beyond “Hi, I’m pissed off,” but damned if it isn’t a language I’m well versed in translating. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 4), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits. The Target Matters I don’t like yelling.  I don’t like yelling at someone, and I don’t like being yelled at.  I don’t actually know anyone that likes being yelled at – including people who yell at me.  Which says a little something about yelling and screaming in the first place:  if people don’t likeRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 14, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction One of the best things about a good partner:  they’ll always build you up.  They’ll help you traverse rivers, climb mountains, explore the depths, hold your hand when you’re sick, and know your deepest fears.  Unfortunately, the wrong partner can ignore the first part, and use the last bit there against you. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 4), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits. A Word on Bad People From the first paragraph I typed of this series, I expected there to be some sort of fallout.  Women who write about their abuse are pointed at as “making it up”.  Men who write about their abuse are “pussies”.  Honestly, I could care less about that.  Call me names online?  Oh, woe is me, what shall I ever do? But, I expect a little more personal as time goes on.  Today, I got a message fromRead the rest of this...
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  • A Timeline of Half A Million Words 118
    Date: December 12, 2016, By Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr Category - Abuse, Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr
    Introduction Relationships are a contract, informally negotiated by two people who, for one reason or another, want to spend their time together.  Marriages have a more formalized contract – marriage vows, etc. – that both parties agree to.  But, any romantic relationship has some sort of boundaries and proper behavior that each party is supposed to follow.  People seem to absolutely fucking love breaking these agreements, and I have no idea why. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over and read part 1 of this series of posts (this is part 4), in particular the Introduction section that puts this into a bit of a larger context, and gives a couple of disclaimers (like, for instance, assuming that I’m talking about a specific person or persons in these posts.)  Even if you don’t read the rest of that post, read the Introduction.  This isn’t just about a single person in my life, and it’s not about men or women.  While it happened to a guy, and it’s being told by a guy, you can change “he” and “she” to any gender you like, and it still fits. Made an Agreement?  Keep it in Your Pants. I’m at two ends of a spectrum that most people might find confusing:  first, I really don’t care about sex as the basis for a relationship, and generally speaking, I really don’t care if my significant other is having sex with someone else.  Which brings us to the other end of the spectrum: IRead the rest of this...
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Enjoying your visit? Well, glad to hear it – Midnight Ryder’s Book of Many Things has been around for over two decades, in one for or other, and under multiple names. Over time, the format changes, the focus changes (though, it always comes back to being about Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr’s live in general), and the about of potential entertainment derived from it changes. If you’ve scrolled down this far, you’re either entertained, or, you’re just really bored.