Valentine’s Day Sucks…
For single people, Valentine’s Day. It’s just a rule – you’re reminded, nonstop for a couple of weeks, that you’re single. And there’s no real relief – if you’re around ANYONE, you end up with a reminder.
But… I didn’t quite spend Valentine’s Day how I expected it to. Instead, I ended up with a distraction.
My Secret Valentine
About 5 days before Valentine’s Day rolls around, a fairly cute gal adds me on Facebook. Didn’t think much about it at first, but a message followed:
Her: “Hopefully someone requested you before me.. I wanted to be friend #1,000=)”
Me: “Sorry, you ended up being friend #998 – you didn’t win the fabulous prize for being friend #1000!
“BTW – this might sound silly, but… do I know you, or were you someone that just added me for Mafia Wars? (Or something else I’m not aware of?) Not trying to be rude, was just curious if I’ve had a massive brain fart and forgotten someone I met at some point! :-)”
Her: “I don’t know you, but I see from your post you are single.. so that makes you my secret Valentine.. send me a sweet message for Valentines day. =)”
Blink, blink. Oh, ok, I’ve got another loonie on the line I guess. *SIGH* (There’s a couple of months worth of “loonie” tales I haven’t told. The strange attention I was picking up was a large portion of the reason I quit working out – somehow, things started disturbing me after I posted a couple of pictures on a site, and I kinda started hiding. Though the problem solved it’s self when it my account got deleted by the system for apparently getting way too popular too quickly. But, that whole thing is a story for a different day.) But what the hell, I’m bored, so I decided I’d play along a little bit. I checked her account…
She’s in Kansas, has 5 kids, 34 years old, single, and really is that cute. Nice. Must be a psycho, I’m guessing. And oddly, we don’t have ANY Facebook friends in common.
Me: “Secret Valentine – I like that 🙂
“However, there’s a problem – I’m one of those people who doesn’t throw out false complements, things like that. Which makes throwing out a sweet message for Valentines day rather difficult – about all I can comment on is that you’re very pretty, and I’m sure you hear those sort of complements all the time 🙂
“Since there’s a few days until Valentines, how about you tell me a little bit about yourself, so that I can give you a sincere Valentines message? 🙂 (That or I’ll go out and buy a package of candy hearts, and pick the one with the most interesting message, and send that instead ;-)”
So we started chatting via facebook messages… and surprise, she wasn’t a psycho after all. She was finishing a college degree, was divorced for three years, and didn’t have time in her life to date someone until after she finished her degree (job + college + kids? OK, I can understand that one.)
Basically, she was intelligent, funny, and lonely at the moment.
We talked right up until Valentine’s, and I sent her the sweet Valentine’s message she was hoping for:
Me: “Happy Valentine’s Day, secret valentine! 🙂
“Thank you for electing me your secret valentine – it’s not often a beautiful, intelligent, witty woman picks me out of a crowd to make me smile, and gives the me the opportunity to make her smile! So accept this sincere thank you, and a corny Valentine’s Day card 🙂
Her: “Thank you so much my sweet valentine=) You did make me smile and feel special. You made an effort that was much appreciated. I hope you had a great Valentines Day Davis. My ♥ belongs to you today=)”
Now, I told Devvi this story on the phone, and got to the end, and said “And, well, that’s the end of the story.” There was a long pause from her – I realized she was a bit confused. So I explained a little further…
One truth to life is that eventually, all relationships end, and all of them end on a sad note. Either it’s a breakup for one reason or another, or end does end in “till death do us part.” There’s no happy endings, really – someone ends up being that lonely one.
I could probably ask her out to coffee or beverage of choice, and she does seem like she might be a compatible person. Who knows, maybe it could push a little further, and start dating even with her busy schedule. There’s a lot of unknowns there, but anything is possible. Including complete failure.
But I just found a story that had a happy ending, in my opinion. For once, a short, sweet tale ended on a high note. And it appears, both my Secret Valentine and I decided to keep it that way – I haven’t contacted her again, and she hasn’t contacted me.
To me, that’s the way the story should end – with a smile 🙂
The Other Valentine’s Day Message
OK, I’ll have to rewind like six or eight months for this one to build up the foundation for it, and unlike my Secret Valentine, this one might be a beginning of something.
I met a gal many Tweetups ago, and it just happened to be her first Tweetup even though she had been on Twitter for a while. As luck would have it, her and her friend ended up plopping down beside me for part of the Tweetup, so I got to chat with her a bit at the time.
OK, this gal is stunning, IMO. Even more stunning is the fact she looks like that, and is 38 years old (I didn’t learn that part until much latter.) So of course like everone at Tweetups, we followed each other on Twitter and chatted from time to time.
When I was in Kenosha, dealing with the end of the tale of mass confusion on my part between Devvi and I, she just happened to tweet a few things that were… well, off from her normal demeanor (while text communication sucks for it’s lack of nuances, you still learn styles and moods over time.) So I said the three words: “Are you OK?”
We started talking off and on about her relationship – I didn’t know who she had been dating until she told me, and I remember meeting the guy a totally different time and though he was a bit, well, sleazy. We talked on Twitter (via Direct Messages, not on the timeline) about her relationship problems, etc.
Fastforward a bit – she ends up getting back together with Mr. Sleazy a few times, and whenever she breaks it off we would usually talk about it again.
Even though I go to quite a few Tweetups, her and I never actually cross paths – we’ve only seen each other in real life four times grand total now. It’s not that she’s anti-social, but between job and college, she doesn’t have much extra time, ‘specially since this is her last year.
Around December, she puts her foot down – this is the end of her and Mr. Sleazy. Again, we talk – part of the issue is a bit of verbal / mental abuse, coupled with some self esteem problems.
WichitaCindy came up with something interesting for Christmas this last year – a site where you could send a message of any length to someone, and have it be anonymous. Then, at the Christmas Party, these would all be handed out. I actually wrote quite a few of them – Cindy laughed, because even without a name on ’em, she knew which ones I wrote 🙂 (Side note; Not sure who wrote the one I got. And I never asked around.) Anyway, I sent her a message reminding her she didn’t need a douchebag in her life – she was someone who was more than strong enough to stand on her own, and it’s OK to be single.
Ready for a foot in mouth moment? Come on, can’t you already guess what happened? Yeah, she was back together with Mr. Sleazy. *SIGH* But while we were both there, we talked for a short bit, and I was a bit sad. She didn’t look happy – the energy I had seen in her before was gone. (BTW, she didn’t the message until the end of the party, not before we talked a bit.) She was uptight, and it made me a bit uncomfortable talking to her to be honest.
About a few weeks later, she broke it off again, and yet again we started talking about the relationship issues, blahblahblah…. but this time the chatter didn’t really seem to end the same as it did before. We continued to talk, and at some point even traded phone numbers (something I don’t do much – not many people on Twitter have my phone number.)
About mid-January we were both talking about the upsides and downsides of relationships, including one of the “social issues” – there’s a lot of stuff that just requires someone else to go to. Even going out to eat sucks without at least a friend to do it with. After a relationship is gone, there’s also a sort of consistency gone from your life.
She had bemoaned part of that, and a whim hit. quickly followed by a second. I started to send her a message saying “Hey, wanna just go out and do something? You know, just as friends.” That was the first whim. The second whim was “Hey, go for broke – drop that second sentence and see what happens.” HM. I really hadn’t planned on asking her out… but that definitely wasn’t the worst idea ever! Because, let’s see… 38, no kids, intelligent, funny, and good looking. My kind of girl, plus a few bonus points. Why not.
The conversation died there for about 30 minutes. After the first 10, I figured I musta spooked her off completely, so I left it alone. Eventually she did answer – she wasn’t ready to date yet, and she didn’t really have time in her life for a relationship.
But that didn’t seem to hurt our communication any, which was cool. We continue to talk.
Now we’re up to Valentine’s Day weekend. There was a Tweetup at Old Chicago – I couldn’t afford to go, eat, drink, and be merry, but I could afford to drink Iced Tea all night and be merry, so why not 🙂
As luck (?) would have it, I ended up being seated beside her, and we chatted off and on for a good portion of the night (she left way earlier than me – I closed the bar, then took two of the gals on a Denny’s run. And got free Denny’s outta the deal 😉 At one point, someone started handing out fliers for Final Friday. The theme this time is “The Art of Relationships”. We both commented this sounded like a cool theme, and I think both of us even mentioned wanting to go to it. I asked the person handing them out for another one or two, and commented that I’d give one to Doc and see if him and his girlfriend wanna go, and go hang out with them.
She leans in just a bit, and points at the flier that I’ve got in my hand “I want to go to that.” Now, typically I’m dense. Like, thicker than a brick dense. This time though, I didn’t skip a beat. “Sure – I’ll go with you.” “Sounds good.”
Eventually, of course, she left, and said bye to me as she got up – and scratched my back as she left. Not completely sure why it caught my attention, but it did.
Anyway, two days later I sent her a Valentine’s Day message:
“Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂 I know love have given ya’ a crap sandwich this year (a term from a friend of mine), but here’s wishing by this time next year you’ll find someone to celebrate with that sincerely appreciates you for the awesome person you really are! :-)”
OK, it’s not the best effort ever, and I really actually liked the message I sent my “Secret Valentine” much better. But I figured she’s probably appreciate the idea that someone thought of her and did something besides the generic “Happy Valentines!” thing (and I got a thank you from her, of course)
The next day I get a message “Hey, I’m buying a new router – could I tempt you to come set it up with $30, food, and beer?” OK, look, there’s a point where someone is just over doing it. I’ll work for money. I’ll work for food. I’ll even work for beer. Offer me all three for setting up a router (actually, and a printer) is just plain overkill. But hey, do you think for a moment I’d turn ANY of that down? 🙂
Anyway, we’re talking on the phone after that DM, and chat about what’s wrong with her existing router, etc., and she made a comment about fixing the router, drinking some beer, and just hanging out.
So, I’ll be hanging out with her a bit for the next two Fridays. What’s that mean? Absolutely nothing, really. But it also means that hey, for the next two Fridays I at least get to not be bored and hang out with a really pretty gal and drink beer. And ya know, that’s about as good as it gets these days 🙂
But it’s also just interesting enough to make me smile – and thus, it ended up on here. (Plus, who knows, if it ends up another one of those stupid dramas I get myself wound up in because if my own stupidity, at least it’s documented 😉