Life is a lemon (and I want my money back!)

What about your friends? They’re defective – all the parts are out of stock
What a joke. I don’t have many people I’ll bother to call friends anymore. That number got reduced again. I can now easily count my friends on one hand without strainin’ my brain.

What about your family? It’s defective – all the batteries are shot
Hmph. Why bother? All it does it lead to opening yourself up to bein’ stabed in the back and betrayed. Not everyone takes the opportunity to do that – but it sure seems more and more that friends and family are both willing to drive one right between your shoulderblades. Better ta just keep your distance, and your back to the wall.

What about hope? It’s defective – it’s corroded and decayed
I had hope at one time. The world finally beat me down to the point I don’t care anymore. It’s time to give up and be yet another drone in life.

What about faith? It’s defective – it’s tattered and it’s frayed
Faith in what? I don’t have much faith in anything anymore. I’ve lost my trust in pretty much everyone.

What about your town? It’s defective – it’s a dead end street to me
What’s left here for me?

What about your work? It’s defective – it’s a crock and then you die
Yeah… there’s a nice subject. Got a job that I don’t even know how long it’s gonna last anymore. At the moment, it looks like calm seas again. Problem is, the captains of this boat haven’t figured out how to navigate, and us oars men get the brunt. And of course, when things look bad, they throw another oarsman overboard and expect better results.

What about your future? It’s defective – you can shove it up your ass!
Pretty much my future is worthless. I’ve got one business venture going, and it’s a stunning failure. The other one I’m exploring will probably be the same. In fact, I’m pretty much starting to consider it a dead end already. I’d have to fork out about $20k to get a restaraunt for gamers going, and for what? Just to watch it go down the drain, and take the rest of Heather and I’s finances with it? The game company has turned into one hell of a pit anymore – I throw all the time and energy at it that I can, and get near zero returns.

It’s all or nothing, and nothing’s all I ever get
Everytime I turn it on, I burn it up and burn it out

It’s a never ending attack, everything’s a lie and that’s a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back

And we’re always slipping through the cracks
Then the movie’s over, fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!

Time to quit the dreams. Time to change – quit swimming upstream, and just follow the current. Be another drone, work until I’m 65, retire, and die at 70. Hopefully I can do that with the ONE bright spot in my life – Heather. That’s if people quit trying to tear her down, and explain how she’s a bad wife. And if she doesn’t finally decide some day that I’m really not worth the love and effort.


2003-06-17 11:51 am UTC (from (link)  Select

You’re sounging like me… This is not a good thing. I think it’stime to share what has basically become my mantra in the last few years. This is my favorite poem. I looking for ways to gedt a tattoo of it. 


If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

but make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating

And yet not look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – but not make dreams your master,

If you can think – but not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build them up with worn-out tools

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on, when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings, yet not lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run

Yours is the Earth and everything in it,

And, what is more, you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

I’m still trying myself

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2003-06-17 12:37 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

Damn, you have a very powerful and poetic soul Erik.

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2003-06-18 05:57 am UTC (from (link)  Select

Wow, that rocks! Truer words were never spoken. I don’t blame you for wanting that as a tat. I’ll be hanging that up in my office.

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I’ll ALWAYS be here with you. 


2003-06-17 12:51 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

Davis I love you more then I will ever be able to tell you. You are my perfect support even when it seems like everyone else is gone. And what little I find I can do to support and help you I do with unwavering attention and you are ALWAYS worth it. I don’t regret a minute of this mess because I’m here with you.

I know you’ve been betrayed and it hurts. I’m so sorry. If I could make it all perfect I would in a heart beat.

What gets me through the disillusionment is that we have each other and can count on one another without fail, no question. 

I said so last night and I will say it over and over and over again. You will always be worth it (no matter what ‘it’ is) and there is nothing that can happen or that you can do to change that because I love you no matter what.

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