Browsing 9Gag, I happened to run across a meme that seriously ticked me off. The person who posted it revealed he was 19 years old, and the text was: “One girl my age, with no kids, and not a slut, please.”
I can see the first two parts as being sort of reasonable – I mean, I wouldn’t want to date a 70 year old, nor would I want to date a 20 year old. People would most likely want to be within a certain age range near theirs. That makes sense.
The second part isn’t too bad – I’ve heard a number of women grouse about the fact that once they have kids, it’s much harder to find someone to date. Personally, I think kids are a joy – I wouldn’t have a problem dating a woman who’s got kids. But, I can also understand why some male wouldn’t, for quite a few reasons.
But the third part… *SIGH* See, on 9Gag you submit meme or images, and people vote them up or down. Those that get voted up high enough end up on the front page of 9Gag, which means enough people agreed with it to get it on there. 16,310 votes.
My problem is the slut part. Now, I’m not going to say anything new, I’m sure, but damn it, I’m going to say it anyways.
First off, “slut” is an extremely subjective term. It ranges everywhere from “she’s slept with hundreds of guys” to “she’s sleeping with someone besides me.” It’s a stupid term, really.
Second, what’s the poster looking for? A virgin? Someone who doesn’t have sex at all? Because, you know that second one? A year from now, same guy is going to be posting how he just wished she’s have sex with him. If he said “Someone who doesn’t cheat”, I’d be OK with that one, too.
Apparently, there’s some sort of narrow band where a woman exists where they aren’t either frigid, or a slut. I have no idea what that band is, because I’ve never cared.
I’ve had a pretty sorted past when it comes to who I’ve slept with. When looking for a relationship, I have no care about their history (well, except for the issue of STD’s) – I’ve had relationships with gals who’ve had many less partners than me, and many more partners than me. Why does it matter?
And, to throw more into the “why does it matter” question, just because someone had quite a few partners earlier in life doesn’t mean they are still going to do that after meeting the right partner. I mentioned I’ve had a good number of sexual partners in my past – that’s not how I live my life now. So, even if someone considers the term “slut” to be a meaningful term, it doesn’t mean they continue to be so.
Now, I’m not going to say I’ve never agreed with someone when they’ve referred to a girl as a slut before – it’s been ages since I have. And, I’ll admit it – I never even thought it was really a bad thing back then; it told me who I needed to go introduce myself to. (That sounds like a horrible joke, but… well… it’s only partially a joke.)
The real thing, like so many other criteria we judge people on, is “does it matter”? Nope, of course it doesn’t – if two consenting people want to have sex, and no one else is being hurt in the process (IE, cheating on their significant other, that sort of thing), could we as a society finally butt the fuck out of it? (Unfortunately, the answer is probably not: we always need something bad to say about everyone else.)
Sorry for the long rant on “slut” speak. Have a Deadpool and a smile.