First Post!

Well, welcome to my Live Journal. Let’s start with a warning:

  • If you are offended by strong language, leave now. I have been known to fucking cuss from time time.
  • If you don’t like to listen to someone go on a rant, leave now. I’ve been known to go off on a rant at the drop of a hat. However, it seems to be that when I go off on a rant, some people find it amusing, so it might be worth it after all. And it’s all right to be amused. Sometimes I’m amused by my own rants when I’m done.
  • If people piss you off on a frequent basis, you might not want to read my journal. People piss me off on a frequent basis, and I’ll rant about them. (See previous warning.)

Now, don’t missunderstand me. The reason I started this journal isn’t to bitch about people. It’s also not here to make people smile. It’s also not here to document my life. In fact, I’m not exactly sure what it’s here for!

When I started MidnightRyder.Com I created it using a web logger software called PHPSlash, and had this wild idea that I’d use it for something just like this journal. One thing I discovered quckly, however, is that MidnightRyder.Com is supposed to by my ‘professional’ site, and I couldn’t do a rant properly there. Which actually defeated one of the purposes of creating the site using web logging software (the rest of the reasons still stand, however – there’s not many company sites out there that are as interactive as MidnightRyder.Com, and it’s dead simple for me to update it from time to time 🙂

Heabo talked about my brother-in-law’s LiveJournal entries, and then her mom got one, and finally she got one. So I finally broke down, and became a paying member and set mine up (which, of course, is what you are reading right now.) This means that the online community at large can read my long rambling posts again. I do still keep a separate journal at MidnightRyder.Com, under the Developers Diaries section of the site. That just covers software development issues and game business issues. This journal is for anything I want to talk about.

So, how about we start off with that favorite of mine, People Who Completely Piss Me Off. It’s a great topic, and you can never have too many people who piss you off it seems. Why do I say that? Because the universe continues to produce people to piss me off, and force me into close proximity with them.

I got married back in November (21st, 2001 to be exact. Don’t ask me the time, because I’m lucky to remember anything better than ‘sometime around Thanksgiving.’ Thank goodness Heabo has a better memory than I do!) I genuinely enjoy the new family I’m a part of – all of them are great people. I truely enjoy visiting them in Colorado, and setting around chatting with them, playing games, what have you. That’s saying alot, since I typically have problems setting down and doing nothing. I’m one of those people who just have to be doing something – sometimes I think it drives Heather a little nuts, but, it’s a part of the package. Anyway, I really like these people, and while I married Heather because of who she is, the family that comes along with it is a nice bonus to the situation.

But with every good situation, there has to be someone around to fuck things up. Best part is, this is someone who isn’t even ‘family’. If she is, I sure as shit ain’t claiming her as any part of MY family 😉 Here locally is where Heather’s dad lives. He’s another great guy that I enjoy being around and talking to. I tend to look forward to going out to eat with him and his girlfriend. The last word of that sentence is where the rant starts.

I don’t think I’ve felt this insulted by someone in a long time. When Heather and I got married, she told her father after the fact (we got married for the license mainly. We were already planning on getting married, and still plan on having a big ceremony later. This was a small deal that we did in Loveland, Co. with the family up in Colorado.) One of his questions, of course was if she was pregnant 🙂 Of course not, but, after getting past that he did something extremely nice for us: He bought our wedding rings (ok, well, he gave us the money to buy them.) When we saw him Thursday at Equifest, and we showed him the rings (which are really awsome!). And then it happened. That was the moment someone chose to really really piss me off, and permenantly move from the “People I’m Unsure About” to the “People I Wouldn’t Even Let Kiss My Ass Anymore” list (which is fairly short.)

Patty looks at her friend who is standing there, and says “Do you know what these two did? They snuck off and got married with out telling her dad, then ask her dad to pay for the rings!” Man, let me tell you, my blood pressure shot up like a rocket. I was PISSED. I was fairly undecided about Patty up to that point. Most of the time, comments about Patty were restricted to “Well, I guess she’s all right.” I disapprove of her, but, that’s ok – no one in this world really needs my approval at the moment, and just because I disapprove of someone’s choices in life doesn’t mean that they are a bad person or that I hold it against them. I don’t. At that point, however, all things taken as a whole, she finally became someone I Don’t Like. It typically takes EFFORT to get to that point.

I ground my teeth. I dunno if the look on Heather’s face, the look on my face, or just that Larry disapproved of the comment, but he was quick to jump in and say that wasn’t what happened, and explain that he gave them to us as a gift. Her response?

“Well, I like my story better – it’s more fun to tell”

Right. Go fuck yourself. Your story sounds better? Hmm… well, I suppose if your goal is to make you boyfriend’s daughter and son-in-law sound like a burden to the pocket book, and generally scumbag type people, sure that’s a pretty good sounding story. I now know where I stand, and don’t worry – you’ll soon figure out where you stand with me too, you twit.

Typically, I’d stay this was the start of a war. A glorious campaign to remove yet another imbicil from my line of sight, and set them up for something nasty enought that later, when they seem me driving down the street, they hid rather than risk pissing me off in such a manner again. However, I like Larry – enough that I’ll bite my tounge. Heck, the fact that he was so quick to step up and defend Heather and I’s honor in this situation makes me like him a bit more (even though it was unnessiary – I can defend my own honor, and I’ll glady defend Heather’s anyday that she actually wants me to 🙂 I don’t like biting my tounge, but, if I wish to keep my father-in-law as a friend, I feel that have to.

And that’s where I had the realization that there is a disadvantage to marrying into someone’s family. As your family size grows, and there’s the increased likelyhood of ‘politics’. (You know, that form of politics which as all about tollerating a situation rather than avoiding it.) I grew up with a mother and father, an adopted sister, and at one time a foster sister. Until I was like 10, I was an only child, and even after that it’s a fairly small family. Then I married into Heather’s family. That adds: Kent, Ian, Erik, Darlene (Heather’s Mom), and Larry (Heather’s Dad.) Further added to the mix is a group I’m not sure if are actual legal relation or not – the Step-In-Laws 😉 Jessica, Morgan, Chris, Larry (who I usually refer to as Pop, what Heather refers to him as), and *SHUDDER* Amy (who, I suppose is no relation at all, since that’s Jessica’s Mom and sets her on a completely different branch than I am. Thankfully. That’s probably one of the few people in this world to ever be taken off the “People To Avoid At All Costs!” list and be placed on a friendlier list. But that’s a totally different weird story of how I once dated my now Step-Sister-In-Law, and how I met Heather! The world is a strange, strange place.) And of course that means there’s also two new sets of grandparents.

Holy hell that’s a lot of fuckin’ people to deal with for someone who came from a small family! I only had a couple o’ cousins, so even when you start moving through the branches, it’s still not that large of a family. (How many times have you heard the last name Sickmon? That should give you an idea how few of us there are to deal with 😉 Luckly, with the exception of the non-family-memeber who triggered this whole discussion, I like ’em all. Heck, I had met a few of ’em through Jessica before I even met Heabo, and liked them then. Pop and I were talking one of the times I was in Loveland, and he was explaining to me how the interactions between the kids gets more complex the more kids there are (he was speaking from a parental point of view.) I had thought about it a bit, and was glad that I liked everyone I knew in the family. I had never realized how different that situation could be. What if, for example, it had been one of the brothers that I didn’t like (to the point that I don’t like Patty, not just a general dislike or anything like that. Someone I couldn’t stand type dislike.) How would that have changed thing? Would I then dread going to Colorado instead of looking forward to it like I have all but the first time I went there? (Hey, I was meeting Heabo’s family up there for the first time. I dreaded it like you wouldn’t believe!) Interesting situation to ponder.

And I’ll wrap this up on something that starts as a happy thought. This requires a little setup – when I showed up at Equifest, Patty didn’t expect me (which I informed here that if Heather is going to be there, there’s a really high chance that I probably will be to), and didn’t have a food ticket for me. No biggie, and well, the fates provided me with a food ticket that someone else dropped. They also had arm bands for people who were helping – you go in free that way. Equifest started on Thursday which I helped, and ended Sunday night. I work at a normal job (if you want to call it ‘normal’ ;-), so I didn’t help Friday, and showed up Saturday to help again. They didn’t have an arm-band for me, and I didn’t have any cash, so Patty paid my way in. Today, the last day of the Equifest event, Patty comes up to me and hands me a very pretty keychain with Fresian on it (A Fresian is a really cool type of horse. Big muckin’ horses that are a medium draft horse, and a cool attitude, and I love ’em!) and explains that it’s a thank you for helping out. I opened my mouth to say thank you, and unluckly she spoke again:

“Of course, I don’t know why I’m giving you one since I had to pay for your ticket!”

Lady, do you ever shut up?

Some people just really piss me off. Don’t get me started again…

Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr

Owner, Midnight Ryder Technologies

“Gettin’ had, Gettin’ took,

I tell ya folks, it’s harder than it looks!

It’s a long way to the top,

If ya wanna rock and roll…

(Comments from original blog Follow)

Welcome to the family 


2002-02-25 10:55 am UTC (from (link)  Select

What can I say? Congrats! yo are now part of the family. With all of the games and politics and shit. It’s all part of the game. we have an evil side and a good side and a few lost souls in the middle. We try to balance all of this so that we stay connected with the each other. Patty is a bane to all of us. She has done a lot of bad to quiet a few of us. But there is also some good. She keeps Dad from being alone. So we put up with her, in a way. Sorry we didn’t warn you about her. I thought She was trying to get along with Heather. (From the sound of it she was, She has been Much Nastier to me) But the good news is I think you are now aware of all of the little factions in our game. No more surprises. The best advice I can give you is duck and Cover.

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Re: Welcome to the family 


2002-02-25 02:26 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

Hehehe – gee, thanks 😉 If this is pretty much the extent of ‘politics’ in this family, well, I’ve got no problems.

Ya know, I have no idea if Patty is trying to get aholng with Heather or not. That lady is just pain weird – she’s always asking Heather to help out at the farm. I really think that’s genuine when she does it, as in it’s more than just “hey we need help”. And then when Heather does help, Patty’s personality gets in the way – she’s got zero grip on getting things done, but, expects things to be done a certain way (Larry and I discussed that very thing while we were taking the horses back to the farm) Until this week, I’ve tred cautiously in most conversations that involve Heather and Patty, listening carefully and trying to figure out ‘how it works’ (or possibly more appropriately, how it doesn’t work.) Strange stuff. It’s incredibly strange to watch someone do something that seems to be a gesture of friendship, then open thier mouth and completely offset what they just did. Ya gotta wonder if it’s intentional, or, is it just stupidity kicking in at the last moment? (Or, even more curriously, is this a defensive manuver of some sort? I’ve seen people do similar stupid things (Jessica being an example at one point in her life) where they set off with good intentions, and thier mental defenses or self destructive tendancies kick in, and sabatoge the situation. Even been guilty of that one myself!) Very strange, very strange.

Even with something like this, I’m still happy to be a part of the family. I don’t do duck and cover very well – I tend to be confrontational in an odd way. Example – instead of putting up with my drugie, manipulative, lying, and just about any other negative adjetive you can think of sister, I kicked her out of my life. She’s probably the only person I’ve completely banned from my life. (still haven’t talked to her in at least 3 years.)

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Re: Welcome to the family 


2002-02-25 02:46 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

This is what I consider the worst. Patty and Amy are the reason Mom, Pop and to a lesser extent myself won’t go to Kansas anymore. Most of hte biggest stuff is now behind us. Mainly the child support shit, the vacation games on what we were doing with our school vacations (although this was mostly The Olivers problem) let’s see what else? WHatever the hell Jessica’s problem was that week. We’ve all solved that one to our satisfaction I think. 

With all of that i’m glad you’re glad.

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Re: Welcome to the family 


2002-02-25 03:21 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

I’m not sure if I should take that last sentence as sarcasam or what…

I wasn’t involved in the history of how things came to be, so for me, it’s just the way things are: if I want to visit any of the group in Colorado, I have to go to Colorado. They ain’t comming here. It may seem overly simplistic, but, all that stuff happened before I was involved in it so it doesn’t really have much context for me.

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duck and cover??does that work?? 


2002-02-25 04:17 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

I laughed so hard…..

I cried when I read Heather’s journal and saw what Patty was doing to my child again.

but when I read yours…I laughed aloud.( I must be hysterical)

what a soap opera !! a multi -generational soap opera……..aliens in outer space are monitoring this and waiting impatiently for each episode.

I feel like she has finally met her match…and gotten enough rope to hang herself…

not that I expect any real changes…but the knowledge that every time she opens her mouth, she removes doubt about her character and intentions……

understand , please , and look out for my daughter…….(heather will fall for this because she will keep trying to see good and attempt to create a working peaceful mature relationship)…but 

PAtty has never and I really doubt at this point ..ever will want a relationship with MY kids….because they are “MY” kids. 

she will do damage intentionally …first to erik…a kid who wanted to live with his dad and heal after an attempted suicide……she made his life hell! (imagine…what human being would do that?)

and then Heather……Heather’s buttons are obvious to the adults that watched her grow up…..Patty has been around since Heather was 7 years old……she knows how to get those darts under heather’s skin…..and it destroys heather’s self esteem.

(funny but Patty has many of the same issues )

the boys seem to take less damage to their egos….but heather is a prime target…. another female….my daughter…daddy’s little girl.. a beautiful. bright , independent girl full of talent and ambition

…patty not only resents me..but any resources that are spent on the kids…..(like for instance a college education….an agreement mom and dad had between them …patty had no vote….)

so Patty is bitter and what was once a beautiful. self assured yuoung lady that moved to wichita…quickly became a bitter , gossiping gold digger. not my words..but opinions of friends of Larry Bum.

anyway..the point is that heather will always be at risk..and Heather’s children will also. Bum does my heart good when he protects his kids…but many many times he does not…..and that causes doubt in the kids also.

so on it goes.

It is amazing to me ( and in a funny way gives me a sense of relief) to know that the only two folks on earth that I consider a thorn in my side….are also a bee in your bonnet..(if you had a bonnet) it lets me know that I am not crazy….validation 

amy used to go out of her way to be mean to heather…..but hopefully amy has other things to keep her busy now.

I am sorry that the little pebble (I thought it was little) that I dropped into the pond back in Jan 1984 caused such a nuclear/radioactive waste problem these many years later…….!!!

for pets’s sake my grand children will be dealing with this!!! 

if I had known..I would have thrown myself back into the marriage no matter what.

( a life lesson…never never get a divorce….you have to give your child into the hands of people that hate you …)

(which is why we chose to move away …after several years ..the hurt feelings were not healing..and the bitterness was acting like a poison on these folks…they just could not forgive….or at least throw their venom on the correct target……innocent kids are not targets)

who knew , my daughter would fall in love with a wichita guy?? and who thought these folks would still be in wichita?? it is a global economy folks….ha…

I am glad she found you ….really….no really 🙂

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Re: duck and cover??does that work?? 


2002-02-25 08:25 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

Patty saying ANYTHING about how Larry contributes financially to his children (education, general welfare, whatever) has always been a button with me. Ask Heather – I typically start ranting very loudly about the subject anytime it comes up. Grumble… I won’t get started.

I read your other posts in your Journal and your reply to Heather’s. The past is past, what’s done is done. While the effects may linger, guilt doesn’t change anything reguardless of if something needed changed or not. It just becomes one more thing ta’ weigh you down. I mean, aren’t you wanting to get in shape and loose weight? There’s one place you can start 🙂

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Re: duck and cover??does that work?? 


2002-02-25 08:41 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

some wise grandma sonewhere once said…..worrying is like a rocking chair… keeps you busy , but gets you no where.

so my guilt and worry must be a hobby??/ 

no not really…it just the mom in me wanting to protect the kids….but knowing I really have no control at all.

it is harder being a mom to grown ups than toddlers…..!!

yes oh wise one..ha…..i am done with the past and guilt… guys get to deal with it now….I get to skip happily into the distance….

we hit one of our main goals today…!! we own the house…just us and the more owner finance..which translates to , we fixed our yucky credit…!!

a big deal since that is what we have been working on for years and years…..

so congrats to us….

I really am not sitting here wringing my hands about my baby….well a bit every now and then….but I have lost a bit of weight thank you very much…ha!! ( is that koser to mention wieght to a mom -in -law??)

actually , I have a good friend with cancer…and I was training to do some walking for cancer…..there is a three day walk herein the summer……

that is my new goal. 

you both inherit the old stuff to deal with….it is more like I am handing the quest over to you …apologizing for it and taking off on my vacation…..( a bit like Bilbo does with frodo)

so good luck with ring frodo!!! (smile)

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Re: duck and cover??does that work?? 


2002-02-25 08:59 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

O wise one? Uh, you got the wrong guy! 🙂

However, does that mean I get to throw Patty into the fires of Mt. Doom?

As for the weight comment – well, it wasn’t meant like THAT of course! But, heck, you have to remember that 1) this comes from a guy who gets refered to as Buhdah from time to time, 2) I’ve never been one for stickin’ to the rules of social conventions and 3) Ya look just fine. (Now can I say THAT about my mother-in-law?)

As for passing me the ring – oh, I’m sure Bilbo, the ring will cross your path again… 😉 Now I just gotta gather up the adventures, and start off on our way to Mt. Doom 😉

Ya know, on second thought, refering to you as a hobbit probably DOES fall under the rules of Things Not To Call Your Mother-In-Law 🙂 I need to write these down as I go – no one bothered to give me the instruction manual 😉

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Re: duck and cover??does that work?? 


2002-02-25 09:10 pm UTC (from (link)  Select sort of fits..but i do not have hairy toes…..

and I am sure Larry Bum is a dwarf!!

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Re: duck and cover??does that work?? 


2002-02-25 09:14 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

Agreed. Larry is a dwarf – he fits the grumbly attitude and all. However, lets file this under Things Not To Call Your Father-In-Law Who Also Happens To Be Trained In Beating People With A Stick.

(Yeah, lets see me try and get THAT one published 😉

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Good Insight 


2002-02-28 12:47 pm UTC (from (link)  Select

Wow, you chatter like a woman, but the weird thing is somewhere at the end it all makes sense. Which is good because most women rarely make sense and indeed I think take great pleasure in confusing us guys.

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