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Grips of an obsession, Vallentines, Construction, living arangements, Ex Survey

Oh holy hell. Fine, I give up – time for a new temporary obsession, script writing wise. That ending I wrote for another script that I mentioned before? I keep getting little snippets of how the rest of it would be laid out. In fact, so much over the last two days, it’s 75% written in my head. OK, I give up – I’ll write the damned thing now, then go back. I’d still MUCH rather do the other script as a movie first – that way, I get the easier to do one out of the way, and learn all the screw ups on the first one πŸ™‚

Given how much of the flow I already know (rather than last time where I had a beginning to start with, then worked from there) the first draft will probably take a LOT less time than the previous script took. I could be wrong, of course πŸ™‚

Valentine’s Day is coming. Ah fuck. I love Valentine’s day – while I tend to say I’m not a romantic guy, this is one of those days I look forward to! I’ve done some pretty cool things on Valentine’s before. Unluckly, this will be the second year in a row I spend it alone. Last year I was still married, but we lived in separate states. So needless to say, I spent it alone. This year I’m not married, no girlfriend, and gonna spend it alone again. Bleh. Not so much depressing or anything like that, just disappointing – lots of energy, and no place to go with it πŸ™‚ So, I’ll probably try and focus my energies into the script work. I’m inspired, it’s a romantic script, and it’s a romantic time of the year – what a perfect match πŸ™‚

Working on R & S some days is just way too weird. Today for instance – I never picked up a tool to do any “real” work until 2:30 PM. Until then, I had spent the day on the phone, meeting contractors, etc., etc., etc. Two walls had to move, and a restroom was being moved. So there had to be quotes, changes to engineering and architectural drawings, etc., etc., etc. It’s amazing how much time such a little thing can eat up (to give you an idea how small of a deal it was, it only cost $620 to move the restroom – where it was going already had some plumbing work done.)

I had moment of… I don’t know what you’d call it really. Vengeful pleasure? Needed some quotes on electrical, and it just happened that my father dropped by and we were talking about who to call. He mentioned a couple o’ names, one of ’em being a guy named Chuck we used to work with at my previous job. Cool – he calls him, and they chat for a bit, and I hear Dad tell ’em “Well, I doubt J. R. would call them. He’d kill Brian!” (Ahem – to explain, I’m a Jr. My father and I worked at the same place, so, there is still a segment of the world that knows me as J. R. Not Jr, btw. I kill people for the latter.) Chuck’s joking suggestion was to call the old company we worked for, and have THEM quote the job!

Hehehehe – I probably should have, just for the sheer fun. I would have hounded them ENDLESSLY πŸ™‚

I also had a moment of pride, as Dad was telling Chuck I was running a restraunt construction job. I suppose it’s probably because of that feeling of “coming into my own”. Sure, I’ve owned my own companies. I’ve been out on my own. But… not in this field. My father was always top dog over me if it was anything relating to construction or electrical. Hearing him say (with a sound of pride) that I was running it made me proud and happy – it’s amazing how the little things sometimes touch ya.

I love Meredith and Lance – they are great people. I’ve been living with them for a while now, and it’s been a good arrangement. But… (there’s always a but) the problem I have is that I’ve always been pretty independent, and pretty set on equality. Here, I can’t help but feel it’s their place (and it is), not our place. Surprisingly, our or mine is MUCH preferable to me – that feeling that I have some sort of control. Sure, if I have an issue with something, I can talk to ’em about it. But rarely do I bother. I just STFU and move on most of the time. So, very slowly, I’m going to start exploring my options again. (BTW – I’m betting this is probably how Meredith felt when her and Erin lived with me for a while. A permenent guest, not a equal. I feel for her on that one now.)

There’s two distinct problems with moving elsewhere: 1) I hate appartments and similar arrangements. It’s throwing money out the window – never rent if you can own. Problem is, well, I lost my house, so owning is going to be a BITCH to pull off (though, well, I have some interesting ideas how to pull that off πŸ˜‰ 2) I DO NOT want to go back to living alone. I really do enjoy having someone with me. Not in my face, just in the same house. So I may have to look into a roommate whenever I get serious about moving on.

But it’s gonna be a LONG LONG road before I get to that point. I’ll get there, eventually.

Hehe – I always read all the bullitins that Jenni posts, and even find some of ’em interesting and possibly thought provoking. Here’s yet another one…

The Ex-Survey:

(1) Would you kiss your Ex again?
Yes. (I can’t think of a single female I wouldn’t kiss again if the situation was right, so that pretty much applies to all my ex’s.)

2) How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they loved you?
Something like 6 or 7 of ’em.

(3) Have you ever thought that you were going to marry a person?
More than once, actually. Married one of ’em even.

(4) Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
Yeah. Damn that sucks and is awesome all at the same time.

(5) Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
Yeah. I was married, remember? πŸ™‚

(6) Are you happier single or in a relationship?
HM! In the right relationship, I’m happier. In the wrong relationship, I’m bloody miserable.

(7) Have you ever been cheated on?
Once.

(8) Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn’t mean it?
No.

(9) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yeah. Everyone should have their heart broken at least once, IMO. It makes you truly appreciate the happy times πŸ™‚

(10) If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
THIS is the thought provoking question my ex wife asked me on more than one occasion. The answer is no. I can think of someone in my past I probably should have developed a great relationship and gotten married to eventually. I didn’t though – and here’s the thing: I would never change where I am now, so I would never go back and change that! An almost depressing conundrum, that I typically resolve like this – these days, I know the value of love. Those days, I didn’t. Had I married back then, I would have had a VERY bitter marrage πŸ™‚

(11) Think any of your ex’s still love you?
Absolutely. I love all of my serious ex-relationships, and I’m sure most of ’em still love me. Love is forever. In Love With is a totally different question, and I wonder if that was what the original author of this quiz meant?

(12) Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend/boyfriend or friend?
oooh… toughie. I have no idea. I’d like to THINK so.

(13) Have you dated someone who was not good to you?
Oh hell yeah.

(14) Have you dated someone older than you?
Only a little older than me.

(15) Younger?
Yep – my ex-wife is 7 years younger than me.

(16) Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
There are some errors that just can’t be overlooked and passed on.

(17) Do you Believe in love at first sight?
No. I believe in a lot of things, but not this one.

(18) Ever been given an engagement ring?
Yep – my ex wife had found some awesome puzzle rings for our engagement rings (and then I got her a “real” engagement ring πŸ™‚

(19)Ever been given a promise ring?
Nope

(20)Do you ever want to get married?
Sure – I’d love to get married again someday.

(21) Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you?
Yep.

(22) Ever liked your friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend?
Hehehe – yeah πŸ™‚

(23) Does a heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
Yep – it can be completely paralizing.


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