One of the… er… interesting I suppose… things about being divorced is eventually, you’ll probably think about dating again. So I’m pretty much to that stage. I’m a bit odd – I realize that there’s a chance I’ll spend the rest of my life alone without finding someone who’s a good match for me (because I’m not going to just settle for someone I can stand – if I’m going to be with another mate, well, it’s going to be someone I truely enjoy, and they truly enjoy me. I’m just funny that way 🙂 And ya know what? I’m perfectly fine with that – if life happens to deal that cards that way, so be it. I’m in an interesting situation where I’ve found peace.
On the other hand, it would be completely stupid of me not to bother looking. I, been a modern technogeek sorta guy, have been going the obvious route – I placed an ad in the online personals sites.
Now the first requirement is that it’s cheap – ’cause I’m just that way 🙂 So I placed an ad in one of the free ones. Then I got to wondering – there’s a ton of pay sites, what do they have to offer that’s different? Well, frustration for one – if someone finds your profile interesting after you’ve filled out an free profile, you don’t get to answer unless you pay up. Bleh. One of them did offer me a way around it, with a free trial, then a second free trial when I tried to cancel it (oh, fine, just force more free stuff on me if you have to!)
The experience ranges between answering a few questions, and having teeth pulled. eHarmony is…. holy hell, could you be any more specific about your preferences? Same goes for a few others. In fact… I found that a huge turn off. I mean, hell, why should there be any mystery or exploration of combinations of emotional and mental attributtes? Just narrow it to surgical precision, and obviously that’s exactly what the person who fills out a profile is gonna want, right? Sheesh – talk about a lack of mystery, of finding more about your preferences, of finding what really does fit with you. I like the mystery, thanks.
What I was not prepared for was the number of responses I got. From two sites, I easily topped 50 women trying to contact me. That’s 50 in about two weeks. Whoa.
Most of them didn’t make it past my first initial glance (as I’m sure my profile didn’t make it past many women’s initial glance either.) Many of them did things like post a picture, but, didn’t bother with filing out any information about themselves. (Oh, and I recognized a couple of the women as people I’ve met before, which I find kinda funny) Ok, that pretty much weeds out that group immediately – I mean, meet me half way here. You sent me a message saying Hi (or a Wink, or etc.) but told me nothing about yourself, and didn’t really ask any questions about me. Uh ok. That didn’t make much sense. Fill out the profiles people – it’s there for a reason. (One of my favorites that I’ve seen multiple times now “I’ll fill this out later.” Really – I’ve actually seen that in more than on profile.)
The next group is where I have an issue with myself. I always feel bad about this but… looks matter. Now, I’m not interested in dating a super model – that doesn’t fit my definition of beauty. I like real people. However, I don’t much care for someone who weighs as much as my car. Damn I just… I really feel shallow knowing that about myself, but, it’s true. And so, I put it in my profile.
So this eliminates a whole second group of women who have contacted me – gals who just don’t make the grade because of sheer looks.
I also put requirements for age in my profiles. I kind of have the belief that after about + or – 7 years, I’d be too removed from a prospective dates age group and social scene. That hasn’t stopped a couple of 50+’s from trying to go out with me. (Note – I say + / – 7, but, I put +/- 10 in my profile, just in case. You never know.) So there goes another group of women.
Then there’s the uh… odd ones. That’s how I’ll best describe it. For one reason or another, their profile just sends up alarm bells really badly. If u talk like u r on ur cell phone… I’m probably not interested in having much of an email conversation (though, I must admit that I did respond to one of those sort of inquiries just out of curriosity.)
And, if your income is listed as $250,000+, you are looking for a man within 10,000 miles, and list yourself as stunningly attractive? Yeah… that one throws up an alarm bell too.
So, after being contacted by over 50 women so far I’ve gone out on… zero dates. 🙂 I have been talking to three people online though – supposed to meet one of them in person sometime soon, to set down and have coffee or something. So far, all three of them seem to be interesting and attractive people. Who knows if I’ll actually meet and of them in person or not, and if it results in a date, etc. But it’s downright fascinating to see the online system at work – I started thinking about it a little, I essentially met 50 women who expressed some sort of interest in me in two weeks. Do THAT at the bar scene 😉
And MySpace also has some sort of dating connection sort of thing, but, I haven’t really looked too much into it. I’ll have to set down and do that sometime soon.