This Writer For Hire. Have keyboard, will create. Find out more.

[none]

It’s been a long road,
Gettin’ from there to here.
It’s been a long time,
But my time is finally near.
I can feel the change in the wind right now,
Nothin’s in my way.

They’re not going to hold me down no more,
No they’re not gonna hold me down.
Cause I got faith of the heart,
I’m goin’ where my heart will take me.
I’ve got faith, to believe –
I can do anything.
I’ve got strength of the soul,
No one’s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
I’ve got faith – faith of the heart.

It’s been a long night,
Tryin’ to find my way.
Been through the darkness,
Now I’ll finally have my day.
And I will see my dream come alive at last,
I will touch the sky.

They’re not going to hold me down no more,
No thier not gonna change my mind!
Cause I got faith of the heart,
I’m goin’ where my heart will take me.
I’ve got faith, to believe –
I can do anything.
I’ve got strength of the soul,
No one’s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
I’ve got faith – faith of the heart.

I’ve known the wind so cold,
Seen the darkest days.
Now the winds I feel are only winds of change.
I’ve been through the fire, I’ve been through the rain
But I’ll be fine…

Because I got faith of the heart
I’m goin’ where my heart will take me,
I’ve got faith, to believe –
I can do anything.
I’ve got strength of the soul,
No one’s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
Because I’ve got faith – faith of the heart.

It’s been a long road…

Rod Steward, Faith Of The Heart
(And now will probably be forever known as the theme from Enterprise – while a lot of trekies didn’t seem to like it, I don’t think they could have picked anything more appropriate for the series – it perfectly described the situation for the humans, and for Capt. Archer.)

Ya know, it may be an overly mushy song in a lot of ways, but it’s one of my favorites, and the first paragraph kina describes how I’m feelin’ right now. Everything in life just looks… well, like it’s going to come out perfectly in the end. I’m usually a pessimistic optimist – the world is gonna shit on you, but, you can come out on top if you keep your head about you, watch what’s going on, and find the right place to be to start climbing.

However, today I could be describe as pretty much nothing but an optimist. Probably part of it is the physiological and psychological side effects of heavy physical exertion – working out seems to be going pretty well so far. My muscles feel nice and tight across my back and shoulders (my arms seem to have totally ignored the fact that I worked out last night) – not that tight stress related feeling, but, that strong, powerful feeling. I feel like it should all be visible on the surface of my skin (it isn’t, as far as I know – there’s still that layer of fat on top.) Today our supplements supply should be here – I’m pretty interested in tryin’ out Ecdy Max HP and SynthoVol 2 and see how well they actually work.

Anyway – just thought I’d share the song. Hopefully, some how that will make my optimistic mood a little contagous to other people. Everyone should feel on top of the world πŸ™‚

He Said, She Said
(Good movie, if you’ve never seen it. I’m not much on chick flixs, but, I liked that one) Heabo mentioned our conversations on sex we’ve had recently, and I had ta’ talk to her directly about part of it – I really didn’t think she had someone lined up and ready to go or anything like that (However, I know if we did go that route, she does know a couple o’ people she finds intriging enough for somethin’ like that, and at least one of ’em would be very interested πŸ˜‰ Me personally, as long as our relationship is steady, I’m fine with the idea and encourage it. Sure, there’s obvious reasons to enourage it – gee, if she gets to fool around with someone, then so do I. (I’ve always been a believer in fair is fair type thinking) But to be honest, I’m not that interested in fooling around with someone else at the moment (I suppose that could change.) Besides Heabo, I only know of one female that I find interesting enough to even pursue that sorta thing.

The reasons why I think it wouldn’t be a bad thing are totally different. The only thing I care about though – she”s the one I want to share my life and my love with. Sex for the sake of fun, well, that’s a totally different story – as far as I’m concerned, sex as fun isn’t a bad thing (hey, that’s all I used to do πŸ™‚ and everyone should have the chance to experience sex without commitment. But, the important part is who ya spend your life with – I agree with Heabo’s opinion concernining being ‘locked out’. If yer havin’ fun with someone else, that’s fine, but your husband or wife comes first in your life, no matter what.

I suppose one other upshot to this sort of lifestyle would be that we’d never get divorced for havin’ affairs, etc. That seems to be the death of many marrages. In an aragement like this, well, as long as everyone involved is honest then it’s not a problem (honesty bein’ a key thing in a relationship anyway – Heabo and I do pretty good with that in the first place πŸ™‚ Of course, I’m not sure how other people would view our relationship – I’m not sure that I care, but, other people that I’ve known that practiced ‘Open Relationships’ had social issues with the whole thing. *SHRUG* Of course, some of the other people I’ve know who have done stuff like that were also real sleezebags in some ways – usually the open relationship thing evolved AFTER having had multiple affairs, and even after that they continued to hide part of their other activities.

Well, what the hell is the point of an open relationship if ya continue to hide everything? The idea just agrivates the hell outta me – it seems to go against the whole point of something like that. Granted, not all ‘open relationships’ work that way. I’ve explored the idea before (oddly, enough, when I WASN’T with anyone πŸ˜‰

I am slightly disappointed about the fact that Heabo would pretty much require me to do something like that first, then she would be liberated to do her own thing too. I usually view her as being a lot more independant than that. It’s not that I’m like disappointed IN HER, it’s just that I suppose I expect her to always be this person who will do what she damned well pleases. (Sometimes she is, sometimes she isn’t πŸ™‚

But I also agree on her with the whole part about her and I’s sex life needing to improve a bit – I had been workin’ on that in some (what I thought) fairly obvious ways. Of course, after puttin’ some effort into getting things going, I’m told how we should be doing more – it’s not an insult to Heabo, it’s just that we both think a bit alike, and sometimes I’ll act on something (without sayin’ much about it) while she’s thinkin’ about it, and finally brings up the topic in conversation. *SHRUG* Funny how that works – two people who think similarly, but, have different ways of handling the situation. Seems to provide for some friction from time to time, but is an interesting phenomina if I step outside of it all and look at it. We talked at length last night about all these various topics, but, I still don’t think we’ve completely covered all the issues or even completely agreed on all of ’em. But that’s not surprising – it’s not just ‘an’ issue, it’s really multiple topics to deal with.

Ya know, I appologize to anyone readin’ this who just got a little too intimate glimpse of Heabo and I’s sex life or sexual lifestyle choices πŸ˜‰ Live with it, or get counciling if it’s too bad for ya πŸ˜‰ Me personally, I think it’s great and liberating in a lot of ways – if Heabo and I do decide to follow that sort of path, then it really sort of eliminates some of the problems that I’ve seen other relationships have before. But it also has to be watched closely, and each of us has ta’ re-evaluate how we handle things from time to time. And most importantly, we gotta be sure to communicate how we feel about the situation at all times.

It’s a long way to the top, If ya wanna rock and roll…
(AC/DC song – good stuff.) Trajectory is going good, if slowly. I’m still playing Deus Ex at night, when we aren’t workin’ out or doing something else. Deus Ex is starting to move into my top 10 favorite games list, partially because of how long it’s taking to actually finish the game, and for the incredible gameplay (well, the way I play it isn’t that impressive most of the time – straight up fighter, kill every enemy in existence sort of thing. That way, IF someone sets off an alarm, well… there’s not that many enemies available to answer the call πŸ˜‰ The plotline actually ends up bein’ pretty interesting. I could actually see the doing something silly like a Deus Ex movie based on the plot (hey, if they can do American McGee’s Alice as a movie, which is (was?) in the works, this would work just as well if not better.) It’s that good towards the end, and I’ve started getting REALLY paranoid about some of the characters, and some of the freaky shit like Icarus (someone / something has hacked into my implants, discouraging me from continuing to fight MJ12. I have my theories on who or what it really is.) (Actually, that last statement should say something about the game right there – it’s got the depth of a book in some ways, making you take leaps of logic or putting things together based on what the author has told you so far and drawing your own conlusions. Only difference is, in a game, you can actually follow up on to to a certain degree!) Great game that I highly recommend (again) to anyone!

But back to Trajectory – Eric Forhan and I have been gettin’ a good amount done lately. It’s still not ready for Beta testing yet. Slowly but surely, the game is looking slicker and slicker – the user interface is now themeable, meaning it can look however someone wants it to. Works good, and I’ve been working on doing the final polish on that part.

There is a bunch of little touches that I’ve been intending to finish up on the game – in fact, there’s very little core programming going on now, it’s down to nit-picky details like moving various UI elements into windows, etc. Truthfully, this is the most boring part of the job, and moves the slowest. Blah. Oh well – it all needs to be done. When complete, I want a nice, sharp, professional looking game. While I’m going to start selling it online as soon as it’s done, I’m going to stick it under the nose of some publishers and see if anyone like it.

Also tracked down yet another publisher to hit up with BP!2DX and TP! Not sure why I bother keep tryin’ with those two titles, but, it’s worth it if only to make connections and find out what’s needed from the various publishers, etc.

Needless to say, this is yet another disjointed post made over the process of hours at work between tasks πŸ˜‰

Leave a Reply